Rolling Along

[Roller]

Someone recently suggested I might try writing something about the lure of hand rolled cigarettes, since that's what I smoke most of the time. So here's a first instalment.

I met Luke in my second year at Uni. He was a first year, but he'd had a year out so we were only a few weeks apart in age. What can I say about Luke. He's great. I thinks so, but then I am in love. I mean he's a bit scruffy, shaggy hair, goatee. Thinks its weird the care I take. And he'd never go to the gym. But he's got a good body, wiry, which I like. And well, he's big where it counts. Anyway we met at a film night. I'd kind of been eyeing him up. I didn't think he'd even noticed but after he asks if I want to go for a drink. Sure. And he goes for the gay friendly pub – I mean its a student pub but its gay too, so I was hopeful. I was one of those nights in May you sometimes get when it seems summer's come early so I was happy to sit outside anyway. Turns out he smokes. Well, you can't have everything. And I'm not uptight about that. Smoked a bit myself in my first year. I suppose you try things out. And anyway, I thought he's funny, good looking. We liked the same music too. So I was thinking things were going pretty well when he announced he had to go. Exam the next day so it so kind of OK. At least he seemed genuinely apologetic. So we swapped numbers and he called me. Next day. The rest as they say is history. The sex was great – as if I had much to compare it to. Or him. Not that I was his first.
So we were an item and we'd hang out as much as we could. But we weren't total losers. Exams do matter so it wasn't like one long party. But soon as they were over we decided we'd go away together. His folks had a sailing boat and we'd have it to ourselves for a week or more. He'd sailed a lot ever since he was a kid, had a yacht master's certificate (which I thought was dead impressive and curiously sexy) and so we were going to take it over to France. Load up on cheap wine, good food then find some secluded beach you can only get to by boat. Sex on the sand. I couldn't wait.
The night before we set off, the day of my last exam, we had quite a celebration. At that same student/gay pub. We were already a bit drunk, had both been on the karaoke and were outside so he could have a smoke and he's go out his tobacco tin and papers. Yeah, he rolled his own, not just to save money, he reckons they're a better smoke plus 'they don't have all that shit they put in ready made fags'. He's about to roll up, but then he stops and he says.
“Mikey.” I love it when he calls me that, no one else ever does, “Can I teach you how to roll a cigarette.”
“But why?”
“Well, its a long drive tomorrow and we may not have time to stop. Plus when we're sailing I might have my hands full so it'd be useful if you knew how.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.”
Actually I kind of liked the thought of rolling his cigarettes. Almost romantic, you know, like making him toast and coffee in the morning. So he took a paper and handed it to me, then took another himself.
“OK, I'll talk you through it. So first you hold the paper with the cut corners toward you and make sure the gum's showing. That's it, so the fold makes a channel to take the tobacco. Now you take some tobacco, hold the paper over the tin 'cos some's bound to fall. The trick is getting the right amount.” usually he was so quick rolling up a cigarette I could hardly follow but he was doing it slowly as he spoke so I could see. “OK, that's about right. Then you spread it evenly along. Don't worry if some falls out of the ends, that's what the tin's for. Now, you roll it up. Make sure you get the edge nearest you tucked under. Then roll it a bit. What you want to do is get it not too loose, not too tight. Too loose and it burns too quickly. Too tight you can't suck on it. And finally lick the gum, roll and press it so its sealed then pinch off any tobacco that's leaking out and Voilà.”
He'd produced, as usual, a perfect looking cigarette.
“Now its your turn.” he pushed the tin over to me. It was kind of sweet really, he was encouraging. “Yeah, a little more tobacco. Yeah, that's good. Now spread it, gently. Just right. And now, roll, its not as difficult as it looks just... Yeah, that's good.”
Finally I licked the gum, got it rolled without any problem, pinched off straggly beards of tobacco from each end. I felt quite proud of my self. It actually looked like a cigarette. I'd even enjoyed doing it, the tobacco had a nice scent to it.
“Hmm, pretty good.” he said, examining my handiwork and we smiled at each other. “Congratulations, you have rolled your first cigarette.”
“It was nothing.”
“Say that when you try doing it on a pitching boat.”
“Maybe you'll just have to do without for a bit.”
“No way. Crew's job is to keep the skipper happy. I'm Cap'n Luke remember, scourge of the sea lands and you're...”
“Roger the cabin boy.” I joined in.
“And don't ee forget it, boy.” he added in mock pirate.
We were still grinning like idiots when he said, “So, since we're celebrating why don't you smoke that fine cigarette you've just rolled.”
I was a bit surprised at the suggestion, but then he did know I'd smoked a bit. And it had slipped kind of comfortably into my hand just like a cigarette, and I was a bit drunk which was always when I used to smoke.
“Yeah, why not?”
Which seemed to please him, something I always liked to do. So he leant over and gave me a light. Of course, it's like riding a bike, you don't forget. I inhaled then...
“Wow, that's strong.”
“What did you smoke before?”
“Marlboro lights.”
“Ah yeah, these have got a good bit more kick to them.”
“You said it.”
I had a bit more respect now for the deep inhales he took as I took another drag and felt that warm nicotine rush flow over me. We smiled at each other as we exhaled and I was very aware of that effect smoking had on me. Maybe it was something to do with the naughtiness of it, but when I first tried smoking I'd always get a hard on. And I got a good one this time, but then I was always horny around Luke. Since I hadn't smoked in ages, plus it was really strong I took it easy. Even so when I'd finished I felt pretty light headed. I'd forgotten how much I liked that. Plus there was the kind of bonding thing about smoking together. At least when we'd done and headed back (our next turn on the karaoke was due) he put his arm round my shoulder and whispered, 'I love you' and we kissed. Funny, it was kind of sexy, the smoky taste in our mouths. After that he insisted I roll all his cigarettes, made me his fag wallah, said I needed the practice. It was a good night. We didn't stay late, there was that stupidly early start dictated by the tides. And anyway we had other things on our minds.
Suffice it to say Cap'n Luke did roger the cabin boy. Good and proper. Afterwards, of course, he wanted a smoke.
“Hey, that's my job.” I said, taking the tobacco tin from him. It was kind of tricky rolling a cigarette in bed, leaning on my side with Luke distracting me pressed up against my back. Still I managed. When I turned back he reached for the cigarette in my hand.
“Uh huh, you just lie back there.”
I'd never let Luke smoking stop me kissing him but I'd discovered that it was so much nicer if I'd smoked. And anyway there was something romantic about lighting his cigarette. He seemed to appreciate it, watching me closely, so maybe I put on a bit of a show. You know, the inhale that gathers smoke into your mouth, head tilted back slightly on the exhale. Then I placed the cigarette to his lips. I was much more conscious of the way it warmed in my fingers as he took a drag. It was kind of intimate, maybe even a bit sexy. I let him take over smoking and nestled into his arm. And I didn't mind at all when, communicating just by looks he put the cigarette to my lips. Its right what he'd said. Hand rolled cigarettes, unfiltered, are nothing like ordinary cigarettes. They produce so much more smoke somehow, so much less resistance on the draw. Add to that how much stronger it was and with just two drags I knew I'd had a smoke. Felt that comforting glow. I'd have to be careful. Basically I'd stopped my flirtation with smoking the year before because I could feel I was getting to like it too much. But hey, it was only two cigarettes. One and a half really. Feeling very mellowed by drink and good sex we drifted to sleep in each other's arms.